Tinkie A.D.

A bridge between the hands and the heart…

I’ve started a huge project. I’ve decided that I will indeed write a book about (or should I say for)  Trinket. I’ve been busy working on those early years and have a really good start already. I also wanted to include her blogs that I have posted on bunspace.  I spent the better part of Sunday copying them and getting them all roughly drafted into my book format and OMG, I have over 340 pages already and I still have the whole after death section to do  and a whole chapter of her job as hostess at my Jewelry and Art Gallery in Owen Sound and then there is the health section. Yikes I think I’ll have to go through and really pare it back a bit so it all works without weighting 10 pounds when I’m done. I never realized I had that much in blogs, something like 100,000 words.

It will be nice to have something that I can hold in my hands and read through and she is all there, still alive in all her splendor. I do feel pretty overwhelmed by the task though. I’ve never taken on anything that extensive and my Aries attention span will not be much of an asset to me for this one.

A few weeks back two of T’s bunspace buddies, Jasper and Jethro threw an online memorial get together in honor of Trinket and I did announce there my intention to write the book after several private requests to do so. Anyway, one member mentioned Lulu.com. I have been checking it out and I think its the way to go for self publishing. With that figured out a lot of pressure is relieved already, at least I know I can get it into its book format and if anybody buys it, that is a whole other story. For now I will try to get through the task at hand.

I have to admit I have been putting off working on it. I have finally stopped all the crying and have managed to look at some of her videos and our favorite songs without falling to pieces.  I wasn’t sure not all that long ago that it would be even possible. The mental obsession with her is still really strong and I can’t go an hour without thinking of her and still longing to have her close to me. The emotional anguish has finally subsided and I don’t know if I’m ready to call it all up again to write again. I think a certain part of the feelings must be embraced, but at the same time to wallow in it will only bring a disproportionate emotional element to the book that may overwhelm the readers. It can’t have that kind of intensity for the whole thing, every one will need some Prozac after. Its all new to me so I don’t know yet how it will go. So far I feel kind of lost in it. Hopefully soon things will take more shape and a natural flow will emerge that feels right, somehow like she will guide me with what she want to share with the world.

I’m still playing with idea of bringing home another bunny. I’ve played with the idea of fostering and almost had an opportunity a month or so ago, but it all fell through. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. It still felt too soon to make those kinds of decisions. I’ve been looking through the online postings, hoping both to see   who needs me and praying not to find any either. I even dragged Dave into a local pet store on the weekend to just “look” at baby bunnies. OMG, the torture is killing me and overloading my brain too, but I can’t seem to stop myself. At least I could leave without a bunny, much to the relief of Gracie and Puds. I know they would be utterly crushed if I brought home another bunny. I keep telling myself its their time to shine and be comfortable in their space with the competition of another baby.

Tags: self pubishing, Trinket's book

This entry was posted on Monday, October 5th, 2009 at 11:08 am and is filed under Laura's Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.