Laura’s Blog~ Trinket is Home
This is from my bunspace blog
Its such a sad day today. I am still in shock about loosing sweet Cosmo and I am so worried for darling little Bella. Its very hard sometimes when our hearts are heavy already to witness our bunspace family going through such troubling times and there is nothing we can do to make it better. I’m not so good at being powerless, I only have words to help me cope.
I’m still having good and bad days myself, although more bad than good still. Thursday was a whopper for some reason. It seemed like listening to the radio was a bad idea when I was driving, many songs on the radio would have a phrase that made me think of Trinket and get me crying again, and you know I had to look at her videos again too. I just can’t seem to stop myself, even though its hurting so much, I can’t stop looking for her even though its just an image of her. I never thought trying to let go would be so hard when I have already been through this so many times. Even loosing my parents wasn’t like this, I was hurt but able to let them go in my mind. Trinket, I cannot let her go.
I received another wonderful little gift in Trinket’s honor on Thursday. Rocky from Switzerland and his Mom Irina have been such a comfort to me during this time. They are very new to bunspace, but we had been following eachother’s videos on youtube for a while, I’m so glad she and her buns are here now. The interesting that came with her gift was a memory for me. She sent the beautiful little purple heart she made in honor of T and she made two little cell phone bags with the same little purple heart design. The yarn had this unusual and pleasant smell that was strongly familiar. It drove me wild for a while trying to figure it out until finally it hit me. Dave and I called it the “import” smell. When we had our store in Owen Sound we brought in a lot of new age items, books, inscense, candles, crystals and such. I loved having that store, but the best part was Trinket. She came with me every day and she loved it. She had full run and would go where ever she wanted. Every morning we’d arrive and I’d have to use the Lou right off so I’d let her out of her carrier and she’d go running along the length of the store to be waiting for me at the front dest, all dancing and excitied for her morning salad. She used to sit up on her hind legs and beg, but she’d do this thing with her mouth it was so adorable, like she was making the motions of eating, trying to get the idea across to me she needed something in her adorable little yap. LOL, she would do this behind my back sometimes, burning the pyschic message into my brain until I would turn around and see her. I’d ask her what she wanted then she’d do that little mouthing thing, OMG she was just so brilliant and so adorable. So much has happened since then I had almost forgotten her like that. I wish i had photos of her then, but I only have one.
It had been a whole other life since she gotten so sick and we have been here on bunspace, I almost forgot what she was like before. This little gift gave me back those memories. So I finally posted some pics of the store and one I found of her sitting by her heater the winter we closed. I miss those days so much. She was famous even then, we’d have people come to just see her. Friends would tell freinds to stop in and see the adorable store bunny. She’s go right up to people browsing and sit at their feet looking up at them, I just know was wondering why they hadn’t noticed her yet. Then they’d look down and usually be so delighted by her. She’d always let them pat her and she’d even allow herself to be picked up. Thankfully people were polite and would ask me first, if they were bunny experienced I would allow it and so would she. She just loved to meet people.
There are more pics of the little gems Rocky’s Mom sent. She made this exquisite beaded egg for Trinket, it so intricate and beautiful, one of kind just like her. She also included a lovely candle holder which I have put into the shrine I made for Trinket. I have taken her hutch and gathered all her gifts and all her things in there. I couldn’t bear to have Dave take it down and leave a huge empty place in our living room. I made it all up pretty and I bought a plant to put in there and candles too. At night I light the candles and it feels so much better as now there is life and light in it. I know its been a long time since she lived in there, but it was still her space.
So yesterday we finally brought her home. Randy’s urn arrived yesterday and Dr Dave himself loaded Trinket’s ashes into it for me. It was difficult going there to get her, but I am happy to have her where she belongs. I have her set on the little step in her hutch along with her other precious things. The urn is so tiny, a little heart I could hold in the palm of my hand. Its so strange to think such a glorious creature is reduced to that little bit of ash. I adore this little urn, it couldn’t be more perfect for her. Even the color makes me think of the night sky and the stars , the heart itself is what is truly left of her, the symbol of love we all have for her. Its so tiny and fragile looking but strong and unbreakable, just like her spirit.
I have more photos to get up on her profile later this afternoon. I have to run to town again to drop Dave off to get his truck from the shop.
We had wonderful adventure with Gracie and Puds yesterday and I know Gracie will be getting to posting a blog this afternoon along with their pics. We’ve all decided we will make to Bunfest on Sunday too and I’ve decided to bring to Trinket, she wanted to so bad to make it there, I know its weird and kind of morbid, but it will be our last adventure, one we both looked to for so long, some how it seems only fitting that she make there even if its only her heart. xo Laura
Tags: grieving, memorial shrine for pet, pet urns
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